Negativity Comes In Many Forms
With all up the upheaval in our professional lives, waking up in a “bad mood” can feel like an everyday occurrence. It can make us want to hide and isolate ourselves from friends, family and life in general. We may not even be aware at how much negativity has affected our day-to-day thinking.
Negativity can feel like a vicious cycle: you try your best to be positive, but then you get another text, email or have a conversation that sends you on a downward spiral. Prolonged periods of cynical thinking, denial and catastrophizing can create neural pathways in the brain that encourage sadness. These feelings can cause our brain to distort the truth and make it even more difficult to break the negative cycle. There are some common types of negativity that we may not even realize we’re falling victim to. Here are 7 examples:
- Filtering: Only noticing the bad and filtering out the positive or good in an event or situation (ie- only focusing on the few criticisms in a performance review and not hearing all of the positive feedback).
- Jumping to Conclusions: Assuming something bad will happen because of circumstances in the present.
- Catastrophizing: Believing that disaster is inevitable.
- Blaming: Blaming others for your circumstances and feeling that you are a victim to life’s uncontrollable events.
- Emotional Reasoning: Defining what’s real and what’s not based purely on your emotions.
- Fallacy of Change: Believing that if people or circumstances change, you’ll be happy.
- Heaven’s Reward Fallacy: Assuming there will always be a reward for hard work and sacrifice. When the reward doesn’t happen, you become bitter and depressed.
Negative thoughts and emotions are a natural response to challenges in our life, but extended bouts can result in health issues, both physical and mental. Negativity sends our body into ‘fight-or-flight’ mode. We deal with stressful situations by releasing cortisol into the bloodstream, making us more alert and focused. And although some stress is good for us, extended periods of negativity can cause a host of side effects, including:
- Slower digestion and upset stomach
- Decrease in the immune system’s ability to fight inflammation
- Headaches
- Fatigue
- Sleep problems or insomnia
- Drastic changes in metabolism (i.e. overeating or under-eating)
You’re probably thinking, “Great! Now I’m not only dealing with work uncertainty, but I’m doing harm to my health as well!” The good news (and there is some!) is that negativity is a habit that can be broken. It’s not easy when you’re in the midst of chaos, but it is possible. We’ll look at some techniques to help in our next article. Working with a coach, like Leah M Joppy and Associates, can also provide a fresh perspective, goal setting and accountability that can help break the cycle of negativity. You want to feel like you’re moving forward – coaching can help you get there and feel less “stuck”. To learn more, call us at 301-670-0051 or email us at leah@lmja.com.
Note: Our ‘Purposeful Retirement’ seminar on June 28th will now be held via Zoom. To learn more and register, please visit: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/purposeful-retirement-workshop-love-your-next-chapter-tickets-1325629667019.
Break The Cycle Of Negativity With These Tips
Change and uncertainty have been constants in our professional lives for the past several months and it can be incredibly difficult to deal with day-in and day-out. It can make us feel very discouraged and cynical and we may feel like it’s impossible to break the cycle of negative thinking. Did you know that we have about 50,000 spontaneous thoughts, images and ideas every day? Whether they’re positive or negative, they intrude into our awareness. And it’s those negative thoughts that are more likely to “stick” in our brain.
Is there any way to break the cycle, particularly when you’re in the thick of a particularly challenging period of life? Negativity is a habit and, luckily, most habits can be broken with awareness, motivation to change and putting in the work. Here are 3 ways to get started:
Manage your expectations: So often, we expect things to work out one way and they don’t. That’s why we don’t want to place a lot of specific expectations on an outcome we can’t predict. We’re less prepared for surprises when we have a preconceived idea about how something will turn out. By managing our expectations, we’re able to be more resilient when change inevitably happens.
Monitor your social media time: We’re all guilty of it: you come home from a challenging day, you flop in the couch and start scrolling through your social media feeds. Before you know it, you’re surrounded by pictures of your friends’ “perfect vacations”, “perfect children” and articles about what DOGE may be doing next. And you end up feeling worse. Be mindful of the time you spend on social media and how it makes you feel. You can even set a timer on your phone to set limits for scrolling. Think about replacing “doom scrolling” with something that brings you happiness and fulfillment: reading, listening to music, taking a walk in nature, etc.
Let negative thoughts come and go – and question their accuracy: Allow yourself to have those negative thoughts and stop telling yourself that you shouldn’t think that way. Acknowledge the thought and then let it go. You can even visualize your thoughts as balloons that float away right after you have them. Also, question whether your thoughts and concerns are even true. So often, we allow our emotions to become truth and dictate how we perceive and react to situations. It can be freeing to say, “just because I believe something, it doesn’t mean that it’s true.”
We can’t stop life’s ebbs and flows, but we can learn how to accept change and break the cycle of negativity. Asking for help or even knowing where to start can feel daunting. Leah M Joppy and Associates is ready to help you thrive through challenging times and enhance your resiliency skills. Call us at 301-670-0051 or email us at leah@lmja.com.
Note: Our ‘Purposeful Retirement’ seminar on June 28th will now be held via Zoom. To learn more and register, please visit: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/purposeful-retirement-workshop-love-your-next-chapter-tickets-1325629667019.
Picture Your Retirement
When you picture your retirement years, what do you see? Maybe your mornings are spent sleeping in and enjoying a good book along with your coffee. Or perhaps you’re spending your time relaxing and lying on the beach. But for many retirees, once the novelty of “getting to do whatever I want” wears off, they’re left with the nagging question of “what is my purpose in my new life”?
The numbers seem to back this up. According to a study by AARP in collaboration with National Geographic partners, nearly half (47%) of adults are concerned about being able to maintain a sense of purpose and relevance in retirement, including 41% of retirees. And 46% of retired adults say they never gave any thought to planning for their personal fulfillment during retirement. The lesson is clear: it’s never too early (or late) to start planning for what will bring you purpose once you’re retired.
So, what do we mean by ‘purpose’? Purpose is that inner excitement that lights you up, affecting nearly every aspect of your life. It’s strongly tied to your mental, emotional and physical health and longevity. Throughout your life, you’ve probably had a variety of activities that have brought you purpose: your career, raising your family, being involved in your children’s activities, etc. However, during retirement, these activities are no longer a big part of your life. This means that finding and maintaining purpose throughout retirement is critical for long-term joy and fulfillment. Feeling aimless and not building that purpose can lead to:
- Isolation
- Depression
- Loss of identity and meaning
- Lack of structure and routine
- Poorer physical and mental health
You may be wondering, “how do I get started planning for a fulfilling and meaningful retirement”? No one can tell you your purpose, not your spouse or your children. It’s personal and requires taking a deep dive into what truly brings you joy and fulfillment. In our next article, we’ll look at some steps you can take to find your purpose, but self-reflection is really the key. On June 28th, Leah M Joppy and Associates will be holding a workshop to help you plan a purposeful retirement and find meaning in this next chapter of your life. You’ll gain a profound sense of self awareness, a stronger glimpse into your unique talents and a vision and action plan for when you’re ready to retire.
To learn more and register, please visit the events page. We’ll help you move beyond simply retiring from something, and instead, retire to something truly meaningful.
Your Retirement Is Personal
We probably all know someone who was so anxious to retire, only to sit on the couch most of the day watching television. Maybe you’ve witnessed a family member or close friend retire and lose that “spark” they had when they were working. Most likely, you’ve said to yourself, “that will never be me!” Yet, so many retirees are so excited by the prospect of having more free time that they forget to plan for what they’ll do with all that free time.
Once you’re retired, there’s a profound shift in routine. But just because you may not get up to go to work every day doesn’t mean that you don’t have a purpose or mission—you just have to find it! Self-reflection is a big part of the puzzle. Here are 5 ways to uncover what your inner voice is telling you:
- Think about what you value: Your personal values are a great predictor of what actions and decisions will most likely lead to purpose. If you never sit down to think about your values, you’re more susceptible to making decisions based on whatever information is in front of you at the moment. Let your values drive your decisions! Knowing what you stand for helps keep you on a path you believe in.
- Recognize your unique strengths and talents: Choosing a purpose that comes naturally and has meaning to you will make you more likely to achieve it. And when you utilize your innate talents, you will be more likely to succeed and build the confidence to try new things.
- Think about what you enjoy doing in your spare time: How we spend our free time tells us a lot about ourselves. Do you like to use your time educating yourself and expanding your skillset? Or do you enjoy exercising and spending time in nature? Maybe social time with friends and family is your top priority. Whatever the pursuit, taking care of your mind and body is an essential part of living a purposeful life.
- Connect with family and friends: Social ties are essential, particularly during the retirement years. Loss of routine and daily interactions with co-workers can make many feel isolated. Find new ways to spend time with family and friends and discover new activities you can incorporate into your life. Understanding the connections that matter most to you will help determine how you want to spend your time.
- Connect with yourself: The most important relationship you have is with yourself. But that doesn’t mean that self-reflection comes easy. That’s where activities like journaling come in. A study from UMass Boston shows that journaling is one of the most effective tools for increasing self-understanding, acceptance, creativity and finding your purpose. Get started by asking yourself some basic questions: What legacy do you want to leave behind? What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail? What words would others use to describe you? You may be surprised at some of the answers you uncover!
Planning for your purpose in retirement should be just as important as planning your money. On June 28th, Leah M Joppy and Associates will be holding a workshop to help you plan a purposeful retirement and find fulfillment in this next chapter of your life. We’ll help you move beyond simply retiring from something, and instead, retire to something truly meaningful.
To learn more and register, please visit the events page.
Physical and Mental Health During Times Of Uncertainty
Life has few guarantees, but one thing you can count on is change. And for so many of us, the past few months have really put that to the test. Living with uncertainty for a prolonged period can feel like it’s taking a toll and often in ways that we don’t even realize. Last month, we looked at why we’re so resistant to change and how it challenges our sense of control and fear of the unknown. But what does dealing with uncertainty do to our bodies, both physically and mentally? Let’s take a look:
Common Symptoms in the Body
Everyone is different, but here are 3 common ways that uncertainty manifests in the body:
- Muscle tension: Muscle tension is one of the most common physical symptoms since dealing with uncertainty causes the body to be in a continuous state of alertness. This stress can cause headaches, neck and back pain and overall achiness.
- Digestive issues: Digestive problems are another common symptom. Many people experience stomachaches, nausea or changes in appetite when dealing with uncertainty. The stomach is extremely sensitive to stress and anxiety, making it more vulnerable.
- Sleep issues: Sleep disruptions are also common. The constant worry and overthinking that accompany uncertainty can make it difficult to fall asleep or stay asleep. A lack of restful sleep often increases feelings of fatigue, irritability and difficulty concentrating.
Common Mental Impacts
Again, dealing with uncertainty has different impacts on everyone, but here are some common ways that it can affect mental health:
- Increased anxiety and depression: Prolonged periods of uncertainty can lead to increased levels of worry, feelings of frustration and difficulty managing emotions
- Lack of motivation: When you’re faced with so much change and so many questions, it can leave you feeling stuck and like nothing you do will really have an impact. This can make it challenging to start or finish tasks.
- Racing Thoughts: Your mind may race with “what-if” scenarios and potential negative outcomes.
- Irritability and Frustration: Living under a cloud of uncertainty can make you more short tempered, perhaps lashing out at co-workers, your partner or children.
- Restlessness: You might find it difficult to sit still or it may be hard to relax.
- Indecisiveness: You may have difficulty making decisions or feel paralyzed by the fear of making the wrong choice.
Perhaps you read the list and said, “yes, that’s me right now!” Your big question is: what do I do about it? Change and uncertainty aren’t going away, but how you react to it and take care of yourself is within your control. Some options to consider: seek outside resources such as counseling, a community support group, or talking with a good friend or church member. Another option is working with a coach, someone who is trained to help people manage uncertainty.
Leah M Joppy and Associates have coaches that can help you manage many situations. We can provide a fresh perspective, goal setting and accountability to help you achieve sustainable results. We are currently offering 20-minute complimentary exploratory sessions. It’s an ideal time to book an appointment and talk to us about how you can work through uncertainty in your life. You don’t have to go it alone. We have also added 2 new courses. To learn more, call us at 301-670-0051 or email us at leah@lmja.com.
Feeling Lost Lately?
Change and uncertainty have been constant in our professional lives for the past few months. We’re living in a VUCA world (Volatility, Uncertainty, Complexity, Ambiguity) and it can be incredibly difficult for people to deal with day-in and day-out. It can also make us feel very isolated and alone. We may feel shame, a loss in self-confidence and elevated levels of anxiety. Asking for help or even knowing where to start can feel daunting.
When we face uncertainty, our sense of control is challenged and our minds can start to imagine all sorts of possible outcomes, often negative. One of the most important things we must remember during times of uncertainty is that we don’t have to go it alone. Leaning on community and finding resources, like working with a coach, to help feel less “stuck” are invaluable. Learning how to face change and uncertainty head-on with an attitude of opportunity can bring significant benefits. Here’s a look at a just a few:
- Personal growth: When you’re faced with uncertainty, you’re usually pushed outside your comfort zone. While this is challenging, it’s also an opportunity for personal growth. You might discover new ways to build resilience, discover a strength you didn’t know you had or learn new ways to solve problems.
- Increased confidence: Overcoming the challenges that come with uncertainty can really be a confidence booster. It reinforces your belief in your ability to handle life’s challenges. It’s empowering and encourages you to take on new challenges with a positive outlook.
- Better problem-solving skills: Uncertainty can make you think more creatively and come up with fresh solutions. This helps in all areas of your life, both professionally and personally.
- Opportunities for new experiences and learning: Uncertain times often bring the chance to try and to learn new things. Whether it’s a new job, a new skill or a new hobby, these experiences can enrich your life, offer fulfillment and possibly set you on a new path.
- A fresh start: Uncertainty often leads to change, and change can mean an opportunity to reset and have a fresh start. Who knows? It may lead to new and exciting paths that you never considered.
Change and uncertainty in our lives can cause a roller coaster of emotions: fear, anger and sadness, just to name a few. We can’t stop life’s ebbs and flows, but we can learn how to accept change. It’s all about how we frame it. Building resilience can be your secret weapon for success and helps you thrive in the face of adversity. Leah M Joppy and Associates is ready to help you enhance your resiliency skills and face change with confidence. Our newest courses may help. We’re currently offering 20-minute complimentary exploratory sessions. It’s an ideal time to book an appointment and learn more! Call us at 301-670-0051 or email us at leah@lmja.com.
The Impact Of Change On Our Personalities
Change and uncertainty. These two words have been constants in our professional lives for the past few months. Everyday seems to bring new questions, messages and expectations. It’s stressful, to say the least, when it feels like our world is being turned upside down. Change, at its core, is difficult for people to deal with, particularly when it’s not by choice. It challenges our sense of control, awakens our fear of the unknown and can compromise our values and principles.
Why is change and uncertainty so hard for us? The short answer is that it’s the way our brains are hardwired. We crave what feels comfortable and a shake up to our routine can leave us feeling rattled. It’s all perfectly normal. Let’s take a closer look at why we’re resistant to change on a neurological and psychological level. Think about each of these factors and how change is causing stress in your life. By acknowledging them and observing them carefully, you can help to reduce their impact.
The impact of change on our neurological needs:
- The need for certainty (for example, “I don’t know what to expect.”) Our brains respond to information and react to a lack of information as a threat.
- The need for processing our thoughts (for example, “I haven’t had chance to think about what’s going on.”) When presented with surprising or shocking information, our fight-or-flight instinct narrows our focus onto that information and excludes other things going on in our lives.
- The need for routine (for example, “This is how I’ve always done things.”) We’re creatures of habit and we’re comfortable with routines. Change rocks our sense of security and makes us feel vulnerable and out of control.
The impact of change on our psychological needs:
- The need for self-esteem (for example, “Am I good enough?”) Our past successes play a big role in our self-esteem. When we’re forced to deal with change, it can sometimes feel like these successes are being undermined.
- The need for confidence (for example, “I’m afraid I’ll fail.”) We want to feel certain that we’ll be able to achieve success no matter what the future holds. Our uncertainty can cause us to feel isolated and withdrawn in a time when we need support and community the most.
- The need for control (for example, “Do I have a choice?”) This is a big one right now. We want to make decisions on our terms and feel like we’re in control of our choices. Change is particularly hard when it’s not according to our design.
Change is always going to happen, but how we deal with it is crucial. Our level of resilience (the ability to “bounce back”) is a crucial component for both physical and emotional wellbeing. Fortunately, resilience is a skill that can be developed and strengthened over time. That’s where coaching comes in! Working with a coach, like Leah M Joppy and Associates, provides a fresh perspective, goal setting and accountability to achieve powerful results. Our course, Building Resilience In Times Of Uncertainty, includes a resilience assessment and provides feedback about resiliency levels in 3 key areas: Challenge, Control and Commitment. Participants learn how to better prepare and manage uncertainty in life. And in a professional world filled with change, it can mean the difference between surviving and thriving. Our second course, What’s Next? Purposeful Planning for Post Retirement,will assist you in developing a proactive plan for a meaningful post-retirement life, grounded in your values, strengths, and experiences.
To learn more, call us at 301-670-0051 or email us at leah@lmja.com.
Helpful Tips On How To Deal With Change
Change and uncertainty in our lives can cause a roller coaster of emotions: fear, anger and sadness, just to name a few. Viewing change as an opportunity can feel impossible when it seems like it’s coming at us from all directions. We can’t stop life’s ebbs and flows, but we can learn how to accept change and even view it as an opportunity. It’s all about how we frame it.
Small adjustments to your mindset and habits can help with resistance to change and dealing with the uncertainty that comes with it. Here are 3 suggestions to get started:
Write down your thoughts: When faced with change, it’s natural for your mind to be flooded with worry, conflicting emotions and ‘what-if; scenarios. Journaling can be a powerful way to understand your feelings, discover self-limiting beliefs and find clarity. Whether you want to write down your emotions, describe your doubts or jot down questions, it’s important to get it all out on paper. Once you’ve written it all down, you can look for patterns or mental blocks you want to work on.
Lean on your support network: Change can feel particularly scary when you feel like you’re going through it alone. Being a part of a supportive social network can reduce stress and improve well-being. Sharing your experiences with your community and listening to the experiences of others can help you feel less isolated and more encouraged to face what’s next.
Accept your fears and don’t be ashamed of them: For most people, fear doesn’t feel good. However, you can fight off many fears by fostering a positive mindset and practicing a few simple thought exercises such as: concentrating on the strengths and accomplishments that have brought you this far; thinking about all of the challenges you’ve overcome and how you worked through them; identifying the root cause of your fear to avoid creating a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Another exercise is to focus on what you can control. Adopting practices that help you connect with and regulate your emotional state (ie: a meditation routine) help develop a deeper sense of strength and resilience. When the next change happens, you’re more likely to see it as an opportunity for growth, learning and for trying something different.
Life has few guarantees, but one thing you can count on is change. Building resilience can be your secret weapon for success and helps you thrive in the face of adversity. With all the changes and uncertainty that 2025 has brought so far, Leah M Joppy and Associates is ready to help you enhance your resiliency skills and face change with confidence. Our course, Building Resilience In Times Of Uncertainty, includes a resilience assessment and provides feedback about resiliency levels in 3 key areas: Challenge, Control and Commitment. Participants learn how to better prepare and manage uncertainty in life. And in a professional world filled with change, it can mean the difference between surviving and thriving. Our second course, What’s Next? Purposeful Planning for Post Retirement,will assist you in developing a proactive plan for a meaningful post-retirement life, grounded in your values, strengths, and experiences.
To learn more, call us at 301-670-0051 or email us at leah@lmja.com.
Dealing With Change. Calling On Our Resilience.
“Change is the only constant in life.” You may not have known that this quote originated from Greek philosopher, Heraclitus, but we bet you’ve heard it a time or two! With the start of a New Year, a change in administration and so many other upcoming events, many of us are feeling the uncertainty (and stress!) of change in our professional and personal life.
Change is always going to happen, but how we deal with it is crucial. It’s about our level of resilience, otherwise known as the ability to tolerate difficult or stressful situations while still remaining positive and productive. Some call it the ability to “bounce back.” According to the APA Dictionary of Psychology: ‘Resilience is the process and outcome of successfully adapting to difficult or challenging life experiences, especially through mental and behavioral flexibility and adjustment to both external and internal demands.’ It’s a crucial component for your physical and emotional wellbeing and can mean the difference between surviving and thriving.
Embrace the 7 C’s. Understanding and embodying the 7 C’s of resilience can transform how you approach both your professional and personal life. It enables you to navigate obstacles with strength and confidence. Although initially directed at childhood development, Dr. Kenneth Ginsberg’s 7 Cs of resilience are vital in today’s ever-changing workplace. Let’s break it down:
- Competence: Develop the skills and knowledge to handle workplace situations effectively.
- Confidence: Build the self-confidence to trust your abilities and judgment in challenging situations.
- Connection: Foster strong relationships with team members to creative a supportive, collaborative environment.
- Character: Cultivate your personal values and integrity to guide your behavior and decision-making process.
- Contribution: Feeling that your contributions matter in order to build a sense of purpose and value.
- Coping: Develop effective ways to manage stress and adversity. This includes building problem solving and emotional regulation skills.
- Control: Focus on the parts of work you can control (i.e., your decisions and reactions) and let the rest go.
We can help. It sounds like a lot, especially when you feel like you’re just trying to stay afloat and manage your day-to-day tasks. But you don’t have to go it alone. Our new course, Building Resilience In Times Of Uncertainty, focuses on how to manage the stress, anxiety and uncertainty of “what’s next.” This course includes a resilience assessment and provides feedback about resiliency levels in 3 key areas: Challenge, Control and Commitment. Participants learn how to increase their resiliency and better prepare and manage uncertainty in their career and personal life. And who doesn’t want that, especially in today’s world?
Call us at 301-670-0051 or email us at leah@lmja.com for more information.
Effective Strategies For Building Your Resilience
Many of us work in constantly connected, ‘always-on’, highly demanding positions where stress and the risk of burnout are common. Add to that the changes of an upcoming administration and it can seem like it’s almost too much to deal with. Since the pace and intensity of our work culture aren’t likely to change anytime soon, it’s more important than ever to build resilience skills to navigate work life. As we discussed in our previous article, resilience is the ability to ‘bounce back’ from challenges and adversity. It can have a major impact on your stress level, mental well-being and overall job satisfaction.
The good news: resilience is a skill that can be developed and strengthened over time. The key is to get started! Here are 7 effective strategies to help foster a positive mindset, manage stress and ultimately develop more resilience:
- A study from NIH found that people are 3.5 times more likely to be resilient when in good physical health. Prioritizing sleep, exercise and proper nutrition is essential, particularly during times of change. Physical health supports resilience and resilience also leads to better physical recovery.
- Develop a daily routine. Developing consistent habits, no matter how small, can help you make meaningful progress. Build some coping mechanism exercises into your routine, such as breathing and relaxation exercises and a mindfulness practice to better deal with stressful situations.
- Focus on what you can control: Discerning what you can and can’t control keeps you positive and motivated. It’s also important to not ruminate on the past and focus on what lies ahead.
- Don’t focus on your weaknesses. Focusing on your strengths helps you grow much faster than trying to improve your weaknesses. As hard as it is, try to see failure as an opportunity. With the right mindset, it can actually be a catalyst for growth.
- Build a support network. Connect with co-workers, mentors or friends who can offer encouragement and advice during challenging times.
- Don’t dwell in self-pity. We all know firsthand that life can be hard, but dwelling on our circumstances keeps us from emerging from them and moving forward.
- Don’t compare yourself to others. Define your own version of success that has nothing to do with others’ strengths and accomplishments.
Resilience is not just about surviving, but thriving in the face of adversity. And it can be your secret weapon for success. Leah M Joppy and Associates is ready to make 2025 the year you enhance your resiliency skills and face changes and challenges with confidence. Our course, Building Resiliency In Times Of Uncertainty, includes a resilience assessment and offers feedback about resiliency levels in 3 key areas: Challenge, Control and Commitment. This course will help participants identify strategies to increase their resilience and help manage the uncertainty of what’s next.
Call us at 301-670-0051 or email us at leah@lmja.com for more information. Learning to manage workplace change – a critical strategy for the new year!