Permission-Based Coaching
Sometimes it feels like we live in a society that thrives on giving unsolicited advice and loves to “tell” instead of “ask”. “You should do [insert task here] this way.” “You need to handle [insert situation here] by doing this.” After a while, we can feel like we’re losing our sense of autonomy or worse, start to doubt our ability to make decisions on our own. However, one place where you should never feel like you’re being “told” instead of “asked” is when you’re working with a coach. That’s why “permission coaching” is such a vital part of the process. By asking permission when having a discussion, it helps people feel like they’re in the driver’s seat and their feelings are respected. It also establishes trust in the coaching relationship. Here are a few approaches that are permission-based:
- “I’d like to discuss some more about this matter. Would this be okay with you?”
- “Is this a good time to talk and explore this topic a little more?”
- “Can we spend a few minutes brainstorming some ideas about this?”
- “I’m getting the sense you have more to say about this topic. Could I ask some more in-depth questions?”
Some people get so used to being “told” what to do that it becomes a comfortable pattern. It’s easier to be led and rely on someone else than make autonomous decisions. On the other hand, other people who live or work in an environment where they’re consistently being told what to do may become defensive and resentful. Both personalities benefit from “permission coaching” because it gives them a chance to explore their own thoughts and insights independent from being told what to think or feel.
This isn’t always an easy process and it takes work, particularly if you’re accustomed to being told how to handle things under the guise of “advice”. If you’re interested in learning more about how working with a coach can help you explore your thoughts and reach new insights on YOUR terms, Leah M. Joppy and Associates can help. Call us at 301-670-0051 or email leah@lmja.com.
A NEW MINDSET FOR 2021
Typically at the start of a new year, we think about big goals and resolutions. But this year feels a little different. While we’re all grateful for a fresh start, we’re probably feeling a little tired and overwhelmed as we come off of 2020. If the past year taught us anything, it’s that:
- We thought we were ready for anything, but it turns out that our resilience and fortitude were put to the test.
- We thought we had everything planned (or at least attempted to), but the last year tested all of those plans.
- We thought we had a positive mindset, but learned that when that mindset is challenged, problems may seem bigger than they really are.
So yes, we’ve had some hurdles thrown at us. How do we navigate the coming months with a refreshed mindset and add more doses of positivity in our lives? Here are a few basics to start you through the process:
- Start your morning with a consistent, positive routine that will set the tone for the rest of the day.
- Focus on the good things happening throughout your day, however small they may be.
- Surround yourself with positive friends and mentors.
- Become aware of self-sabotaging behavior and negative self-talk.
- Focus on the present because we can’t change the past and we can’t predict the future.
- Try to find humor, no matter how challenging it may be!
No matter how much you want to hit the refresh button, it can feel challenging to make changes on your own. The past year has been isolating for so many of us and it can feel like we’re stuck on autopilot waiting for the world to return to some sense of normalcy. But you don’t have to go through this journey alone. Working with a coach will help you build the core skills and habits to propel you forward – not just through the coming months, but well beyond.
There are still many things that may still feel up in the air as we’re entering the New Year, but we do still have power and influence within our own lives. What will 2021 hold for you? Leah M. Joppy and Associates is ready to help you move forward with renewed energy and focus. Call us at 301-670-0051 or email us at leah@lmja.com.
RENEWED FOCUS ON THE FUTURE
It’s safe to say that 2020 hasn’t exactly gone how we’d planned. All of those goals and plans we made when we rang in the New Year kind of went out the window. However, despite its disappointments, the year has given us some valuable opportunities for growth and learning. So, how do we walk into 2021 with renewed focus on the future while also keeping our expectations in check? Here are a few suggestions to think about:
- Let go of expectations and focus on what you can control: It’s challenging, but so important to accept situations that are out of our control. We need to let go of how things “should be” and focus on how things are. Rather than spending your time thinking about all the things that have gone wrong, shift your focus on possibilities and opportunities as a way to move forward.
- Don’t make so many assumptions: We often go into a new year hoping that it’s going to be our best one yet. While it’s great to be optimistic and hopeful, we also need to stay flexible and willing to adapt to changing circumstances. Otherwise, we set ourselves up for disappointment and have difficulty dealing with these changes.
- Set goals: Definitely continue to set goals, but maybe don’t get too overly optimistic (that long European vacation might have to wait!). Break your goals into a combination of two categories: ‘achievable’ and ‘desirable’. Accept the circumstances of our current situation and determine your goals within those parameters.
- Mental and physical health are everything: Despite the challenges, 2020 was definitely a good time to start cultivating a mindset of gratitude. It’s so vital to continue this practice into 2021. Mental health is strongly influenced by physical health, so if you started an exercise and wellness practice over the past few months, keep it up. If you didn’t, now’s a great time to start taking small steps (ie: a meditation practice, daily walks, etc.) that will add up to big changes over time. And keep up those Zoom happy hours!
The past year has definitely thrown us a major curve ball. But perhaps it’s given us some time to think about personal changes we’d like to incorporate. What do you like and dislike about your life right now? What would you like more of or less of in your life? Leah M. Joppy and Associates is ready to help you tackle any of these questions. Let’s get started! Call us at 301-670-0051 or email us at leah@lmja.com.
Happy Mindful Monday!
Last week was indeed a privilege for us as we continue to facilitate a variety of leadership development opportunities for our customers. Enlightening discussions were had around managing the challenges, stress and anxiety this pandemic has created. We explored how to strengthen resilience; how to create successful virtual communication; leading in times of crisis; holding on to our personal values; managing blind spots; and dealing with isolation – just to mention a few. Most importantly, we talked about the importance of checking in on each other from time to time.
We were also privileged to have a peek into the participant’s other world. You know, the roles that makes them SUPER! We got to see Dads braid their daughter’s hair, clean up spills and provide snacks to their little ones. We heard Moms directing home improvement projects and where to put the new microwave. Every once in a while a little face would appear in the corner of the monitor, trying to see where all the commotion was about. Carrying out these responsibilities while focusing, engaging and sharing their workplace successes and challenges in a 8-16 hour span of training! That gives the definition of multi-tasking a whole new meaning!
Our public servants are “getting it done,” “moving and shaking,” helping our brothers and sisters all over the world during these very unpredictable and stressful times. LMJA is so honored to be a part of their story; to support our customers in any way we can. Whether it be ‘staying after class’ to provide guidance on a pressing career decision or helping to create ideas for ‘fun food’ for their kids, we are here for our customers. We hope to return to some level of normalcy soon.
In the meantime, be MINDFUL of your team mates and loved ones and most importantly, BE MINDFUL OF YOU! We are all in this together.
Be safe.
Leah Payton
Benefits of Mindfulness
You may have heard the term “mindfulness” thrown around, but what exactly is it and how can it help during times of crisis? Jon Kabat-Zinn, psychologist and founder of the Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) program, defines mindfulness as “paying attention in a particular way, on purpose, in the present moment and nonjudgmentally.” In short, to be mindful is to be purposeful about where you direct your attention. Instead of letting your thoughts run wild, you take a step back and become intentional about where you put your focus.
We are all dealing with different stressors due to the COVID-19 pandemic. For some, work responsibilities are greater right now and it’s difficult to juggle professional and personal duties. For others, work has slowed down or stopped and the anxiety of remaining productive and dealing with uncertainty can feel paralyzing. Research has shown that practicing mindfulness reduces activity in the part of your brain called the amygdala. The amygdala is central to switching on your stress response, so by practicing mindfulness, you’re reducing your background level of stress. And who doesn’t need a little of that right now?
Here a few of the benefits of practicing mindfulness:
Physical and Emotional Health: According to research, practicing mindfulness regularly can help manage anxiety. It also complements medical and psychological treatments and can help reduce pain and symptoms of conditions such as depression, high blood pressure and addiction.
Emotional and Cognitive Regulation: A regular mindfulness practice has been shown to increase focus and help with memory and problem-solving abilities. It can also improve the brain’s capacity for decision-making.
Happiness and Joy: By practicing mindfulness, you’ll find it easier to take a few deep breaths and respond in a more patient and thoughtful way to a challenging person or situation. You’ll begin to slow down during particularly challenging parts of your day and not react to a problem hastily. That enables you to more easily tune in to pleasant experiences that are around you, even during times of stress.
Mindfulness takes practice, but the effort is well worth the reward! Leah M Joppy and Associates has been conducting webinars focusing on strategies we can all use to get through these challenging times. We can tailor a webinar that focuses on mindfulness practices, stress reduction and more. How can we help you? Call us at 301-670-0051 or email leah@lmja.com to learn more.
Coaching For Mid-Level Managers
Middle managers are often dealt a difficult hand. They’re expected to play the dual role of both boss and employee and the balancing act that accompanies this type of position can be tricky to navigate. If you’re in a middle management position, you’re probably required to deal with day-to-day issues and complaints from your employees, while also understanding and implementing big picture goals from upper management. It can really make you feel like you’re caught in the “middle”!
Many middle managers can feel like they’re thrown to the wolves, particularly if they were promoted to the position with little to no training. Mid-level managers must build their soft skills in addition to so many others. Here are a few skills needed to be an effective mid-level manager:
- Proficiency in Hiring Top Talent
- Excellent Communication Skills
- Strong Delegation Skills:
- Collaboration Skills
- Strong Decision-Making Skills
Working with a coach can really help with honing these skills. By assessing the unique challenges you face in a middle management position, a life coach can work with you on the best ways to tackle tough situations and develop a clear and detailed plan of action. You can also learn the best ways to advocate for yourself and what you need to perform effectively in your position. Best of all, a coach is someone who has your best interests at heart and is going to help you achieve that balancing act – both in and out of the office.
Whether you’re new to a mid-level management position or you’ve been in one for a while, it’s always beneficial to take a step back and examine what areas you’d like to work on both in and out of the office. If you’re ready to make some meaningful changes and looking for a life coach that can help you through it all, Leah M. Joppy and Associates is ready to help. Call us at 301-670-0051 or email us at leah@lmja.com.
LEADERSHIP COACHING
We’ve all had at least one job where it felt like leadership was lacking. You probably remember what it was like – a lack of communication, no clear expectations or defining of roles and difficulty handling conflict. Add it all together and it makes for a less than pleasant work experience and likely one where you didn’t want to stay long-term. Strong leadership matters and it’s the backbone to every successful work team. Team leaders are responsible for more than just delegating tasks and monitoring employees’ progress. To be effective in this role, true leaders must understand each staff member’s overall goals, strengths and weaknesses and then use this information to build a strong team.
What do you need to do to be an effective leader? There are many lists out there outlining what it takes, but when it comes down to it, they all focus on these 6 core strengths:
- Communication
- Cultural Competence (the ability to work with people from other countries and cultures)
- Flexibility
- Vision
- Empathy and Emotional Intelligence
- Personal Skills (areas such as authenticity and trustworthiness)
When you look at your leadership style, how would you rate your strengths in these areas? Whether you’re new to a leadership role or been in the boss’s chair for years, it’s important to take a step back and look at how you’re leading your team. Frequent changes in focus and conflicting priorities can leave staff feeling stressed and anxious. That’s certainly not the environment you want. Working with a coach can help you identify areas where you need improvement, develop leadership skills that you can begin using immediately and learn techniques to develop a stronger, more cohesive team. The benefits are numerous: happier, more loyal employees, increased efficiency and greater productivity. And who doesn’t want that?
There are so many differences between being a boss and being a leader. Bosses command, while leaders influence. Bosses discipline, but leaders act as a mentor. That’s just the beginning. If you want to improve your leadership skills and be a team leader who inspires, Leah M. Joppy and Associates is ready to help. Call us at 301-670-0051 or email us at leah@lmja.com. And if you’re wondering if you should be working with a coach, check out our article on Why Should I Work With A Coach?
COACHING FOR HIGH LEVEL ADMIN STAFF
If you’re an executive assistant, does it feel like you make the impossible happen every single day? It’s a job that requires a lot of knowledge and flexibility, along with the ability to deal with all types of personalities. With the COVID-19 pandemic and all of the changes it’s brought to the workplace, you may be dealing with more stress now than ever and even starting to feel some burnout.
Executive assistants often feel like they need to put the needs of their managers and departments first. This can lead to a number of challenges, such as maintaining a work/life balance and feeling like you need to be available 24/7. What if you had someone in your corner who’s ready to listen to YOU and help you make changes both in your job and outside the office? By assessing the unique challenges you face in a high level administrative position, a life coach can work with you on the best ways to tackle tough situations and develop a clear and detailed plan of action. Best of all, you have someone who has your best interests at heart and is going to hold you accountable. Some of the outcomes from working with a life coach include:
- Establishing stronger boundaries (this is big one!)
- Building a stronger partnership with your manager(s)
- Improving communication and streamlining processes
- Increasing productivity and feeling more focused dealing with day-to-day tasks
- Learning tips for practicing self care and making yourself a priority
- Reducing stress and enjoying your job (and life!) more
Whether you’re new to an executive assistant position or if you’ve been at it for years, it’s always beneficial to take a step back, look at the big picture and examine what areas you’d like to work on both in and out of the office. If you’re ready to make some meaningful life changes and looking for a life coach that can help you through it all, Leah M. Joppy and Associates is ready to help. Call us at 301-670-0051 or email us at leah@lmja.com. And take a look at our article on Why Should I Work With A Coach?
Shifting Priorities During COVID-19 Pandemic Part 2
Last month, we looked at how the COVID-19 pandemic has caused many of us to reexamine our priorities and how we’ve been spending our time up to this point. We also delved into some simple suggestions to get started on making change: clarifying your values and priorities, incorporating those priorities into your life and beginning to shift your routines even while we’re in the midst of a lifestyle upheaval. Perhaps you’ve started to incorporate some of these ideas into your life. Or maybe you started with the best of intentions and now you’re feeling stuck and frustrated. Don’t worry and most of all, don’t be hard on yourself! Maintaining motivation, particularly during these unprecedented times, is challenging. Let’s take a closer look at what it takes to find motivation.
The Three Ds of Motivation
Simply put, motivation is the ability to initiate and persist at a task. Finding the motivation to change means maintaining consistent effort when it would be easier to give up. It begins with the three Ds:
- Direction: When you’re ready to make meaningful change, consider the different directions you can go in your life. You can continue with things as they are now, make drastic and immediate change or take things slower.
- Decision: Based on your three choices of direction, you decide which one is best for you and the type of change you’d like to make. None of the choices are right or wrong. They’re simply dependent on what works best for you and the amount of effort and time you’re willing to put into making those changes
- Dedication: Once you’ve made your decision, it’s time to go all-in. This is the step that determines whether your decision to make changes is a priority in your life and if those changes will be realized.
The difficult nature of making changes and staying motivated means that you will likely be putting in effort long after the point of it being fun and inspiring. It’s hard work, but you don’t have to go it alone. That’s where coaching comes in. Having a coach by your side means that you have someone who asks the difficult questions you may be avoiding, helps with the three Ds of motivation, holds you accountable, keeps you motivated during the tough times and celebrates your victories with you.
While we can’t anticipate and plan for everything in our lives, we can decide how, where and when to concentrate our energy. It requires some motivation and problem solving, but in the end it will lead to a more balanced and fulfilling life. Leah M Joppy and Associates is ready to help you on your journey to discover what your priorities and values will look like moving forward. Call us at 301-670-0051 or email leah@lmja.com to learn more.
SHIFTING PRIORITIES DURING COVID-19 PANDEMIC
To say that our lives have changed during the COVID-19 pandemic would be an understatement. While the last few months have resulted in some changes in habits (washing our hands frequently, disinfecting surfaces regularly, figuring out how to look “Zoom Ready” for meetings), we may also be experiencing a change in our priorities and reflecting on how we’ve been spending our time up to this point. When times change as they have in the past few months, we’re often challenged to realign how we’ve ordered our lives for years or maybe even our entire lives.
Like so many of us, you’re probably thinking about all the things you want to do once life starts to get back to some sense of normalcy: eat at your favorite restaurant, take a trip, spend time with family and friends. But there’s also another type of plan you can make – instead of planning what you’ll do, take some time to plan who you’ll be!
Clarify Your Values and Priorities: What do you want more of in your post-pandemic life? What can be sent to the backburner? One activity to pinpoint your personal value system is to think about the things you miss the most from your “normal” life and list the reasons why. Or on the flipside, what are some of the things you’ve enjoyed during the stay-at-home time and why? Perhaps you’ve enjoyed having family dinners at the table and know that you want less scheduled activities for your family moving forward.
Incorporate Your Priorities Into Your Life: Once you’ve clarified what matters to you, now’s the time to figure out what’s holding you back from incorporating more of those things into your life. If creativity is important to you, what stands between you and taking an art lesson, learning to play an instrument, etc.? Figuring out your values and priorities show you what you want more of in your life. The next step is determining what you need to eliminate from your routine to make room for them.
Start to Shift Your Routines: You may think it’s impossible to start making a change when life is so different right now. But there are ways that you can begin taking action. If you want to change the direction of your career, you can start taking classes to develop a needed skill set. You’ll have a much better chance of sticking with your values if you begin to practice them right now!
Have you noticed a shift in your priorities during these unprecedented times? Are you ready to use this time to make some meaningful changes in your life and start making your priorities a priority? Whether these goals are personal or career-related, Leah M Joppy and Associates can work with you to help bring them to fruition. Call us at 301-670-0051 or email leah@lmja.com to learn more.