In this fast paced world of email and text messaging, we somehow leave out the “connecting” part of our communications. And yet, the connecting part is very important to our own success. How we relate to others, and communicate our desires, makes a huge difference on how the message is received. Have you ever noticed that HOW we are asked to do something, either makes us excited to do it, or makes us roll our eyes and dread the project? It’s all about understanding how human behavior works. We can elevate the performance of those around us if we CONNECT.
In your job, and in your future. Recently I read an article about being a successful entrepreneur. The author mentioned that one of the keys to success revolves around the network of the business owner. Those owners who had a more varied network, with closer ties, were more successful. It wasn’t the NUMBER of contacts that determined the success of the owner, but rather the variety of contacts and the depth of the relationships. Some of the most successful entrepreneurs had close contacts in many different areas – people with whom they could discuss problems, or bounce around some ideas. The sincere advice that was given from this network helped the business owner find answers to various problems.
Not a business owner. Whether you work for the government or have a job in corporate America the concept of keeping close ties with a varied list of contacts is not a bad idea. Even retiring successfully and happily may be influenced by your circle of contacts.
Are you listening? When we truly connect with someone, even if it’s someone we’ve just met, the person we’re talking to feels involved. The connection is subtle. Our body language gives us away. Sometimes I see it at networking events. I’m talking to someone, but I see him or her looking casually around the room. Obviously, we’re just NOT connecting. When we’re not truly paying attention, the person we are talking to reads our body language. And not paying attention is a real hit to the person’s confidence.
Telling stories. I have a friend who always interrupts my conversation with a story about what has happened to them. Admittedly, the stories she tells are always on topic to the discussion we were having, but it’s her story. So my conversation or my discussion gets turned around and is quickly forgotten. The focus is now on her!
Those little words. I notice this mostly when I’m on the phone with someone, but it can happen in person too. The person I’m talking to may use words like, “Uh-huh,” “Really,” “gosh,” or “interesting” – all words that signal to me that they are not really involved in my conversation. Something is distracting them. I’m not connecting.
We all bring value. Can we just agree to that statement? Instead of trying to impress everyone with our knowledge and expertise, it’s so refreshing when someone openly admits that they learned something new for the first time! Such a response makes the person talking feel valued.
Talk about the familiar. In some situations, you may feel out of your element. You walk in a room and don’t recognize anyone, or you see that you are outnumbered – you’re a women and the room is almost entirely men (or vice versa). The situation can be nerve wracking. So rather than try to come up with something clever, just be yourself. Talk about something that interests you – a recent movie, a team that you are following, or an upcoming vacation. People are just trying to connect with you, and even if you never mention your expertise, you’re connecting with them on a more personal level – which is actually better!
Does your organization lack connectivity? Better communication leads to less conflict, decreased ‘silos’, a sense of trust , better collaboration and more fulfilling work. Let us help elevate the performance of your team. Give Leah M. Joppy & Associates a call at 301-670-0051 or email leah@lmja.com and let’s discuss solutions that work!