Remember when sales people used to push themselves on you? You’d go into a store and someone jumps right on top of you and starts telling you about the merchandise. It kind of makes you go wonky, doesn’t it? It’s very disconcerting and not very friendly. The first time I bought my own car it nearly rattled me. The sales person was mostly interested in getting a car off his lot than listening to me.
Thankfully, the better sales people have refined their trade. Instead of hanging all over you, they wait. They ask open ended questions. And they Listen.
The same holds true for leaders. Leaders who are interested in getting the work done understand that the key to success is enhancing the capacity and skills of those they work with. Leaders, in fact, coach. And in order to coach an employee to reach his/her highest potential, nothing is more important than how leaders listen, absorb what is said and give feedback.
Listening is a skill. It takes thought. We have to remind ourselves often to stop talking and just listen. Here are five rules to follow which will help develop the skill of listening effectively.
Listen with Interest. We’ve all had that occasion when we’re talking and yet clearly seeing that the person we’re talking to is not really listening to us. Instead, listen with the curiosity of someone who really is interested in what your employee is saying. Instead of thinking about what our feedback is going to be, stay focused on the topic. Keep interruptions to a minimum and move the conversation forward by keeping it on target.
Absorb what you hear. We can fake it sometimes. We can look like we’re interested but our minds are going elsewhere. Instead, take in what is being said. Register the emotion of the person who is talking to you. And be prepared to restate to the employee the discussion you’ve just had. If you do, you’ll stay in the conversation and not drift.
Restate the conversation accurately. Now, you’re showing the person that you really are listening. You not only demonstrate your commitment, but the person you’re talking to gets to “hear” how they sound. Is the message that was conveyed the message he/she really meant to convey?
Ask Questions. Asking questions promotes a fruitful dialogue. You’ve extended the conversation. And by asking open-ended questions, the person you are talking to might voice the answer you want to hear. In fact, you are empowering your employee to think it through. And you’re building their confidence.
Provide Feedback. Avoid preaching and bringing up past experiences. Instead, get clever. You want to be clear in your feedback, but you can also make it relevant and non-threatening. Make your feedback helpful and positive.
Are you a C1, C2, C3 or C4 communicator? LMJA can help your team self-identify their style and strengthen communication… and have fun! LMJA also help organizations with many common challenges – time management, project management, conflict management, strategic planning, to name a few. If you need help or would like to discuss your options, give us a call at 301-670-0051, or email me at Leadership@lmja.com.