Think about it: how likely are you to take someone’s “advice” when they’re essentially telling you what to do? Are you more likely to act on an idea if you’ve come up with it on your own and feel that it’s YOUR decision?

For most people,asking for advice sounds more appealing. The difference comes down to “asking for advice” versus “telling you what to do.” Often, they both seek to accomplish the same thing, but the methods and results can differ dramatically.

We don’t often think about the differences between asking and telling and the effects of both. When you ask someone to do something, you’re creating a dialogue. However, telling someone what do to is a monologue. Here’s a further breakdown of the differences:

Telling You What To Do:

• Controls the information
• Doesn’t engage the other person in the decision making process
• Keeps you in the role of the ‘knowledgeable person’
• Makes people reliant on you for advice or information

Asking For Advice:

• Empowers others
• Encourages decision making
• Engages people in the thought process
• Encourages people to be less reliant on your “expertise”

We experience “asking” versus “telling” in so many areas of our lives: work, home and relationships with family and friends. One area where asking for permission is so vital is during the coaching process. People often work with coaches because they’re ready to make meaningful change and approach life with a new and fresh way of thinking. This type of change is only going to be sustainable if a person comes up with ideas and perspectives on their own terms.

Many people feel a little nervous when they start working with a coach. After all, you’re delving into the most personal of territories: your life. You’re bearing your soul about what’s working and what you’d like to do differently. You’re there with the goal of making changes, but change can make you feel vulnerable. All of these feelings are completely natural. That’s why it’s so important that the coaching relationship is participant-driven and you’re in the driver’s seat. It sets a collaborative tone and uncovers tools for success in the future.

When we reflect on the biggest changes we’ve made in our lives, most likely they’ve happened because we’ve made decisions and come to conclusions on our own terms. Advice or the unpopular “you should do this” method is rarely helpful. If you’re looking for coaching where you’re in charge, Leah M Joppy and Associates is ready to help. Call us at 301-670-0051 or email leah@lmja.com to learn more.

Perhaps you’ve seen the famous quote from Erma Bombeck: “Worry is like a rocking chair: it gives you something to do, but never gets you anywhere.” This has never been put to the test more than in the past year. So many of us are dealing with anxiety about the world right now. Add to it the stress of waiting for the COVID-19 vaccine for us and our loved ones and our thoughts can feel almost crippling. What steps can we take to lessen our burden and start to break the anxiety cycle?

When we’re anxious, our brains start coming up with all kinds of ideas, many of which are unlikely to happen and unrealistic. That only builds on an already anxious state. Often, stepping back and challenging your thoughts can have a powerful outcome. Here are a few questions to ask yourself:

• What evidence do I have that my worry will come true?
• Do I have evidence that my fear is false?
• How will I handle it if my fear comes true?
• Does it benefit me to think this way?
• What are the costs of thinking this way?
• Is there anything I can learn from this situation and use in the future?

One of the worst things you can do when feeling anxious is to sit around and obsess about how you feel. We’ve all been doing a lot more of this since the pandemic began and thinking about worst-case scenarios. Break the cycle and focus your attention on a goal-directed activity and doing what needs to get done. Accomplishing a goal, no matter how small and “getting out of your head” often makes you feel better and more empowered.

When you’re feeling anxious, you might feel stuck and caught in a cycle of “what-ifs”. That’s where a coach can help by providing tools and techniques to manage anxiety effectively. Leah M Joppy and Associates is ready to share healthy ways to cope. Call us at 301-670-0051 or email leah@lmja.com.

We’re glad you asked! Below are 14 possible reasons why people work with a coach. Do you recognize yourself in one of these reasons?

1. Coaches know how to help you get what you want.
2. Coaches know how to help manage and prevent setbacks.
3. You have decision fatigue.
4. You need accountability.
5. You have trouble following through with goals.
6. Limiting beliefs have been holding you back.
7. Anxiety and stress are recurring themes.
8. You are unable to define a clear vision.
9. Your finances, health, relationships, career or business is in complete disarray.
10. The passion you once had for life is gone.
11. You get easily distracted by time wasters.
12. Your friends and family aren’t supporting your dreams.
13. You’re completely lost and feel like all hope is gone.
14. You simply do not know where to begin.

If any of the above sound familiar to you, maybe it’s time you thought about hiring a coach. We can help.

Find out more about the coaching process and how a coach can help you get off of the fence and actually accomplish those goals you’ve been carrying around for years! No matter your career level or station in life, together we can develop a successful coaching plan for you so you can begin to MOVE FORWARD!

Give us a call at 301-670-0051 or send an email to leah@lmja.com to schedule a 15 minute interest call.

And for more information on coaching, check out our articles below:

• Leadership Coaching: We’ve all had at least one job where it felt like leadership was lacking. You probably remember what it was like – a lack of communication, no clear expectations or defining of roles and difficulty handling conflict.
• Leadership Coaching #2: Football legend Vince Lombardi said that, “leaders are made, not born.” When it comes to effective leadership, we can all use a strategy that helps us hone our skills and bring out the best in our team. But figuring out how to do that can be a challenge and can feel overwhelming when you already have a lot of other responsibilities on your plate.
• Coaching For High Level Admin Staff: If you’re an executive assistant, does it feel like you make the impossible happen every single day? It’s a job that requires a lot of knowledge and flexibility, along with the ability to deal with all types of personalities.
• Coaching For Any Level: Wherever you stand in your job right now (entry level to executive), chances are you’re wondering what the future holds in the next year or five years and beyond. Do you feel like you’ve reached your full potential or do you feel like there’s something better for you out there?
• Life Coaching For Single Women: If you’re a single woman, it can sometimes feel like you’re part of a forgotten group. And if you’re a single woman of a certain age, it can feel like that times a thousand. Gone are the days where single women feel like they need to get married in order to feel fulfilled.
• Coaching To Expand Thinking: When most of us face a challenge, our typical response is to fall back on the old ‘tried and true’ way of doing things. This is usually what we’ve learned has worked for us in the past. However, Oliver Wendell Holmes may have put it best when he said, “Man’s mind, once stretched by a new idea, never regains its original dimensions.”
• Coaching For Self Reliance: What is your first memory of feeling truly self-reliant? Maybe it was the day you received your driver’s license and the possibilities that came with the feeling of independence. Perhaps it was when you became financially independent from your parents and started paying your own bills. Whatever the example that comes to mind, self-reliance is trusting your abilities to get through the challenges of life on the back of your own resourcefulness.
• Coaching For Personal Accomplishment: When we think about our life accomplishments, we often reflect on what we’ve achieved career-wise. We received the promotion and big raise, moved to the corner office or changed companies to move forward in our careers. But what about our personal accomplishments?
• Why Everyone Needs a Coach. What exactly does a life coach do and how can one help you with your own unique set of challenges? A life coach is someone who counsels clients on anything from career obstacles to personal struggles.
• Coaching For Mid-Level Managers. For mid-level managers, the juggling act of being both the boss and employee can lead to stress and burnout. Working with a coach can assist in so many ways.

This article is an excerpt from our Mindfulness Webinar: If you weren’t able to join us for the webinar, here is a snippet taken from the discussion. Stay tuned for further topics.

What Is A Mindful Moment and Why Do We Need It Now?

We live during uncertain times. Politically, culturally and economically, these are complex times that we have not experienced to this degree until now. Taking the time to pause, slow down and not overreact to any news or problem that crops up helps us both physically and mentally.

Try these 4 steps to practice your Mindful Moment.

• Pausing. When feeling a difficult emotion, or struggling in anyway, take a mindful pause.
• Breathing. Tune into your breath, allowing yourself to fully feel it. Two thoughts that can help with this are:

“What can I feel within my breath right now?”
“Where can I feel my breath most strongly?”

• Body. Tune into your body. Allow yourself to fully feel any sensations there. Ask yourself:

“What sensations can I feel in my body right now?”
“Where does my body feel tight / clenched / held?”
“Where does my body feel strong / grounded / steady?”

• Emotions. Name your emotion. “What am I feeling right now?”

For more information, please read our other articles on Mindfulness:

• Basics of a Mindfulness Practice
• Mindfulness During Uncertain Times

Is it time for some coaching? There are lots of reasons why people work with a coach. Take a look at this article on coaching and decide whether it’s time for you to reach out!