Tip: How to Build Self-Confidence
There are many things you can do to build self-confidence. Here are some of the most effective ones. Keep in contact with us this month on Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter as we provide more information on building a confident team.
- Start by making a positive list. Write down your strengths, achievements and things you admire about yourself. For some, talking to a friend or colleague will help you to create a better list.
- Take care of yourself. Eating right, exercising and making time for ourselves – these are all activities that make us feel positive.
- Look to others for inspiration. Get involved with something – a group, a sport, a charitable organization.
- Avoid downers. Have you ever been around people who are not happy unless they’re complaining? Whatever it is that makes you feel down also makes you feel bad about yourself.
- Keep in mind that perfection is impossible. It actually keeps us from taking action. Instead, focus on progress.
- Take risks. Do something you haven’t tried before. You never know what will happen until you try, and then you learn.
- Finally, stop dwelling on it! We all do this. We’ve had a bad day and on the ride home that’s all we can think about. In fact, we think about it so much that it becomes all consuming. Learn to drop it. You can’t change what happened, so go forward.
If you need help with individual or team coaching or developing a peer-to-peer or executive coaching program, give us a call at 301-670-0051.
Effective Leading Starts with Listening!
Remember when sales people used to push themselves on you? You’d go into a store and someone jumps right on top of you and starts telling you about the merchandise. It kind of makes you go wonky, doesn’t it? It’s very disconcerting and not very friendly. The first time I bought my own car it nearly rattled me. The sales person was mostly interested in getting a car off his lot than listening to me.
Thankfully, the better sales people have refined their trade. Instead of hanging all over you, they wait. They ask open ended questions. And they Listen.
The same holds true for leaders. Leaders who are interested in getting the work done understand that the key to success is enhancing the capacity and skills of those they work with. Leaders, in fact, coach. And in order to coach an employee to reach his/her highest potential, nothing is more important than how leaders listen, absorb what is said and give feedback.
Listening is a skill. It takes thought. We have to remind ourselves often to stop talking and just listen. Here are five rules to follow which will help develop the skill of listening effectively.
Listen with Interest. We’ve all had that occasion when we’re talking and yet clearly seeing that the person we’re talking to is not really listening to us. Instead, listen with the curiosity of someone who really is interested in what your employee is saying. Instead of thinking about what our feedback is going to be, stay focused on the topic. Keep interruptions to a minimum and move the conversation forward by keeping it on target.
Absorb what you hear. We can fake it sometimes. We can look like we’re interested but our minds are going elsewhere. Instead, take in what is being said. Register the emotion of the person who is talking to you. And be prepared to restate to the employee the discussion you’ve just had. If you do, you’ll stay in the conversation and not drift.
Restate the conversation accurately. Now, you’re showing the person that you really are listening. You not only demonstrate your commitment, but the person you’re talking to gets to “hear” how they sound. Is the message that was conveyed the message he/she really meant to convey?
Ask Questions. Asking questions promotes a fruitful dialogue. You’ve extended the conversation. And by asking open-ended questions, the person you are talking to might voice the answer you want to hear. In fact, you are empowering your employee to think it through. And you’re building their confidence.
Provide Feedback. Avoid preaching and bringing up past experiences. Instead, get clever. You want to be clear in your feedback, but you can also make it relevant and non-threatening. Make your feedback helpful and positive.
Are you a C1, C2, C3 or C4 communicator? LMJA can help your team self-identify their style and strengthen communication… and have fun! LMJA also help organizations with many common challenges – time management, project management, conflict management, strategic planning, to name a few. If you need help or would like to discuss your options, give us a call at 301-670-0051, or email me at Leadership@lmja.com.
Tips for Active Listening
We all have times when we’re distracted. Or our emotions get in the way. Instead of listening, we find ourselves preparing a rebuttal. Here are some good tips for active listening. Try them and let us know how they work for you!
- Know your own communication style. If you are well aware of your style of communication, you’ll know what you need to do to create a lasting impression with other.
- Concentration. If you find it very difficult to concentrate on what is being said, try repeating their words mentally as they say them. This will help reinforce their message and keep you focused.
- Disturbance. If there is a “side” conversation going on in the office, move. Try a quieter room or find a spot in another part of the room.
- Repetition. Use reflective words so that your interpretation of the conversation is correct. For example, use words such as: “What I’m hearing is. . .” and “Sounds like you are saying. . .”
- Emotional Distraction. If you find yourself reacting emotionally to what someone said, admit it. Ask for more information or for better clarity.
- Interruption. Finally, allow the person speaking to you to finish each question before you answer. Don’t interrupt.
LMJA works with organizational challenges. If you need help or would like to discuss your options, give us a call at 301-670-0051, or email me at Leadership@lmja.com.
Finding Purposeful Work
My friend Rachel always told her kids that they would probably have 3-4 careers during their lifetimes. Having worked in the same field my entire life, that always seemed like odd advice. It felt to me that she was giving her kids the privilege to jump around, to try different jobs and different companies. Would they ever settle down? I mean really, what’s wrong with one line of work?
Somewhere along the way, I discovered what she meant. Rachel always strived to find meaningful work. For her, meaning and purpose are core motivators. That thinking is validated by Daniel Pink, author of “Drive” whose book examines 50 years of behavior science to get at the real truth around human motivation. Rachel has always been wired to find work that is meaningful. Now, I wanted that. My job had become less than satisfying and I wanted to feel like I was doing something important.
I mentioned my struggle to Rachel and she said, “Try something different!” She said to me that she thought people changed as they went through life. Things take on different levels of importance during different times. And that’s why she told her kids that they would probably have more than one career. Finances take on different meanings. Families change. Our needs change. And our values change too. We want our jobs and our lives to take on different meanings.
It’s true, that trying something different can have drastic results. We have responsibilities. Most of us need to be fiscally responsible. We can’t just “check out!”
What is meaningful work? I had to do a bit of soul searching. What was I looking for? I thought that meaningful work meant being paid for work that I love. And in my case, that meant creating value for others. I wanted to gain the respect of my peers and find value in what I do. Meaningful work, I was sure, would make me happy. Here’s what I learned.
Rungs Of A Ladder. Finding meaningful work can be a process. For some, it may mean that we take on a second job, or we volunteer after work. We find something that we are passionate about – something that gives us pleasure and makes us feel good about ourselves. The rungs of a ladder work parallel to each other. This is true of our job and our purpose in life. For most of us, as we seek meaningful work, what we do for a living and what we are passionate about often run parallel to each other. But as we strive for meaningful work and focus on our vision, they often merge.
What if you haven’t found purposeful work yet? How do you start? Is it possible to find meaningful life without quitting your job? Finding meaningful work is a process. There are things we can do to help us determine what is purposeful.
- Take time to stop. Think about what you are doing and whether or not it satisfies your need to provide value.
- Rethink your position. As we grow, as we age, things shift. You may find that what was very important at one time, is no longer important. Is your job still purposeful?
- Know that your search for meaningful work may not be a straight path. We have obligations we can’t ignore. We may be pressured to follow a certain path. And we may be competitive – with ourselves and others. The trick is to exercise patience and don’t give up.
- Tune into the mission of your work / organization. Depending on the mission, you might see something that is essential for enhancing your purpose in life.
- Set reasonable goals and then realize what you’ve accomplished, even if it’s taking longer than you wanted.
- Perform random acts of kindness. Helping someone lifts a mood and adds purpose. That might mean taking a meal over to a family where someone is going through medical issues. It might mean helping a co-worker on a project.
- Take time for mental thinking. Focusing on the future and planning your next move help to keep us on track.
- Develop a code of ethics to live by. Establish values you can uphold.
- Volunteer a portion of your time to something you are passionate about.
The steps we take now help us stay more positive. And as we become more positive, we leap over obstacles.
Want to find purposeful work? Try these tips.
Millennials are good examples – they choose meaningful work over money. Millennials often have two jobs – one that brings in money, and one that is meaningful. Often, when people take this route to finding purposeful work, the source of income and the source of meaning start to merge. Millennials are also good at multi-tasking, so they thrive on variety.
There are many benefits to purposeful work, including psychological wellness, productivity and creativity.
Generally speaking, finding purposeful work depends on four contributions:
- Give back. By serving others, you find purpose.
- Contribute to family. Identifying how you can best serve your family and close friends brings enjoyment.
- Commit to the future. We need to grow. Practicing self-improvement in order to reach a better future motivates us.
- Code of ethics. Develop a set of values and steadfastly follow them.
Finding the passion to contribute to yourself, your family and friends, as noted above, moves you forward to a future of purposeful work.
Tip: The Secret to SMART Goals
Most goals aren’t SMART – not because they are hard to write, but because most people don’t ask enough questions. Follow these steps to create clear and specific goals!
- Write your goal. Then ask: Is this goal as detailed as you can make it?
- Define how you will measure your progress. Do the steps you’ve created set a clear path from where you are today to where you want to be?
- In order for a goal to be achievable, there should be periodic checkpoints leading up to the goal. What milestones can you expect to reach to ensure that the goal you set stays on track?
- Make sure that you have the tools you need to accomplish your goal. Is training needed? Does your employee have time to do the necessary work? What will you do if individuals don’t respond?
- Set a date to reach your goal – one that is reasonable and within reach. Do you have updates scheduled during that time period? It’s more likely that the goal will be accomplished if there are intermediate activities that must be met.
When goals are achieved in the workplace there’s a feeling of control and fulfillment. Employees are more likely to feel empowered and more satisfied in their work. If you need help setting SMART goals to achieve standards mandated throughout your organization, please give us a call at 301-670-0051. Let’s discuss your needs.